P + P + P = ...

I am finding out that being a perfectionist, people pleaser and {new} parent is not an easy combination!
As we all know, things in life never actually go PERFECTLY...so those endless efforts to strive for that are often stressful and overwhelming. Oh, and making everyone happy, well thats not so likely either. Trying to balance these two factors of my personality has been hard, and the failure to do so has often left me unsettled.
Add being a new parent to the mix, now thats even more challenging! Especially, if you get all wrapped up in trying to do EVERYTHING right. If I thought it was hard not to compare myself to others before, its even harder now! Instead, I need to remember to be grateful and appreciative of what I have and what I am. And…that i am doing the best I can and that is all I can do!

So... my {Daily} battle has now included things like:

-Soaking up each and every moment with my baby girl (instead of crossing just one more thing off the list)
-Sitting and starring at her play (instead of accomplishing something else while she is occupied)

-Telling myself its OK if today, she did not get enough tummy time or fell asleep in my arms 7/10 times (instead of feeling guilty)

 etc, etc…I think you get the picture!

So onward with the days ahead, and hopefully I can relax and be at peace with my efforts of my job as a new mom as well as a wife/ woman…and try to set aside my perfectionist/ people pleasing tendencies.

welcoming 2012 with open arms!

Well... It has been a long while since I have updated this on my life, and what a few months it has been!
Lets start from where I left off:

At the end of August 2011 we were grateful enough to be able to temporarily move into my parents house in Lakeville, MN. This was as a result of the extensive mold/ water damage that we continued to find in our recently purchased house. We weren't sure what we were going to do with the house yet, but one thing was for sure, it was not safe for me (being pregnant) to live there anymore. My parents welcomed us with open arms, and thankfully it was less of an adjustment than I had anticipated it would be. Not sure what we would have done with out them!

As we continued on with our 45+ minute commutes to work, we sifted through what were were going to do with the unfortunate situation at hand. With my belly enlarging week by week, it was a reminder that  we had to decide something soon! December was soon approaching! We decided to start looking for a town home to rent for the time being. We looked at a few places, and fell in love with one in Hudson, WI. Neither of us could believe we would actually be living in the state of Wisconsin ;) (ok, its really not that big of a deal I guess...but it seemed weird with it always being a rival state and all) The price was amazing, and it was available right when we needed it (at the start of November). We are so happy here and feel completely blessed and provided for!

With a little over a month to get settled and ready for this baby to come, I got decorating and organized real fast! Here are some pictures of her room, which is of course...animal themed!

I was working full speed ahead everyday! Also, being on my feet so much at work made me exhausted, but it was good to keep so busy doing something I love! As thanksgiving approached, I was readier than ever for this little girl to come into the world! However, I didn't REALLY think I would get that lucky to have her just shy of 37 weeks...so I continued to be active and waited... My mom and I still did our crazy all night black friday shopping, and got all ready for Christmas, 'just in case!'

Fast forward one week, and its my 25th birthday! I had a wonderful morning with my husband and got to see my best friend, then spent the evening at work. I was hoping to share a birthday with our little girl, but again, realistically did not think I would be that lucky to not have to wait until 40+ weeks. However, I did not give up hope or stop doing everything I could to get her to come! And...

Surprisingly, the next morning at 7 am on December 2nd my water broke! We were both a little in denial, but it went pretty quick and at 6:18 our beautiful little girl Addison Joy was born at 7 lbs 3 oz!

Its a month in, and I have so many thoughts/ emotions I cant even put into words. Overall, being a parent is the most rewarding and incredible things I have/ will ever do. I am trying to cherish each moment and stage of her life. She has started to be awake more, is staring at people/ things more and is growing every single day in so many ways! It is amazing!!! The crying and tough times are worth every second of it... I still cannot believe she is a month old already!

We have been keeping busy and going on a lot of outings to keep me from going insane from being in the house for so long. 5 1/2 weeks left until the dreaded time when I have to go back to work :( It is going to be so hard!

Overall, 2011 was a pretty tough year for many reasons...but it sure ended with something GREAT! Hoping and believing for a better year, yet thankful for the strength I have gained though everything!

I have promised myself to blog/ write things down more this year so expect more frequent updates and vent sessions in the near future :)

-Christina

it all started with...

It all started with us thinking it was time to get out of the "renting world" and start the home buying process. Soon after we found the house we thought would be a perfect starter home. Over the past 6 months, we have had several small/ moderate sized projects to better suit this house for us. It started with that...However, we now have a much bigger issue on our hands....WATER! it seems to be everywhere...in the walls, in the carpet....ughh! I wish we would have known this 6 months ago BEFORE we bought the house :(

It seems like once we think we have figured out what the source is or the locations of the water damage, we find more and more! The stress of all this has been a bit too much for this pregnant lady to handle. Once we find the exact sources of where the water is coming from we can move on to the plan of knocking down walls/ killing mold/ and re-doing the walls. hmm....  :/

I find myself constantly wishing we would have made a different decision. What if we would have just been patient and kept renting for another year (or two)...or what if we would have just gotten a new townhouse? Life would have been easier then right? or...why does it seem like everyone else's house does not have big & expensive problems (especially so soon). The grass always looks greener on the other side. And we cannot turn back now!

The stress+ fear+ sadness of all this has led me to TRY and remind myself that we will be taken care of...some way, some how... God is going to keep us in his arms and carry us through this tough time. Its hard to believe at times, but that is where my faith needs to step it up.

Hopefully all of these water/home issues get fixed in enough time to prepare for baby's arrival. ;/

Having faith...

Last Monday we had our first ultrasound for this precious baby of ours!! I was nervous to know if everything was ok with "it" but very excited to see "it" as well! It was so neat to see "it" move around so much, suck "it's" thumb, etc! It is such an incredible thing to know thats our child in there! The one we love so much already! We also found out that this "it" was no longer an "it" but a baby girl!!! It has been so fun to give a little more identity to this little gymnast!

Her face (side profile)

Her little foot! 

My 20 wk prenatal appointment was not until Thursday, so we had to wait until then to know if their was anything abnormal with the ultrasound. I have seen so much hardship with chronically ill children, it is hard not to worry. At the appointment, the midwife said that everything looked healthy with baby EXCEPT that she only had 2 vessels in her umbilical cord. That means she only has one artery and one vein (where 99% of other babies have 2 arteries and 1 vein). She said we should not worry too much and that our greatest concern would probably be growth in the last few weeks of pregnancy. She also said that there was a higher chance of other anomalies because of having a 2 vessel cord. So...she referred us to get a level 2 ultrasound at a high risk pregnancy center to look further into the baby's health.  After waiting 5 days (which seriously seemed like a year) we got in for the 2nd ultrasound. And...we got good news!! They did not see anything else wrong with her and just stated that at 30 wks and on we will be watching her growth and heartbeat even more closely to make sure she is getting enough nutrition or if she should come meet us a little early! Sam and I are so relieved that they did not find anything else wrong with her!

My faith has been tested this past week... and the prayers from others seriously gave me the peace I needed to make it through the last few days!

On another note, last night was my first night off of orientation at my job! Ahhh...I was on my own & It was a crazy night. I never felt like I was caught up as one thing after another kept happening. But hey, thats what I want/ need in a job right?! I just hope as the days/ weeks go on that I continue to get more confident and grounded in what I am doing so the nights go a little smoother!

Our home projects are continuing...and this current one is a bit more major! Sam and my dad knocked out the walls in our ever so small/ poorly designed bedroom closet. Previously, there was one small door to get into the narrow closet space, so really we could only reach what was in front of the door. They are going to alter it in several ways and make it so we can actually fit most of our clothes in it (instead of using all 3 bedroom closets for our own clothes!) So right now, the room is a disaster, the baby's room is stuffed with all of our bedroom furniture/ clothes, and we are residing in the basement for the next few weeks...Which thankfully is not as creepy as I thought it would be.

The current state of our closet

More updates to come!

...Im off to enjoy this beautiful day with my precious boy (Theo) at the dog park!

-Christina

Long time...

Its been a long time since I've update on here...mostly because I've been super busy, but also because for the longest time I couldn't share one of the biggest occurrences in my life (being pregnant!) Thus, it was hard to say anything at all, when that was what has mostly consumed my mind the past few months!

Today I am 19 weeks along, and am feeling bigger and better than ever! Every day brings a full load of wonderful emotions (only a few fearful ones present.) How is it possible that you can already love someone so deeply and never even officially "met" them yet? I have always wanted to be a mother, and to finally be able to experience ALL that motherhood entails is beyond exciting to me!

Our baby this week! 

We find out in one week if this little peanut is a boy or girl (or if my husband and others' suspicion is true that there are 2 in there.) It is amazing that I have already almost forgotten the horrible sickness I experienced from week 6-12 ...I guess that's why people keep having kids even through the rough pregnancies.

Sam and I have been trying to get done as many house projects as we can while we still have "time" to do them, and it has kept us busy! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being uber productive and bettering things, but it will be kind of nice to have a reason NOT to be able to do these things.

I have been in my new job for over a month now, and am so thankful everyday to be able to be at a place where I can say I AM HAPPY! I love what I do, and work with some amazing people! What a blessing it has been to get this part of my life FINALLY squared away :) I learn so much each day that I am there and get a new perspective from so many of the patients! What a refreshing thing!

I miss seeing my friends as much as I used to. I wish we all didn't have to work so much and that I could just have all of them live on my block. I guess its part of the business of life and getting older, but can't I just have my weekends back like when I was 21? However, it does seem that distance does make the heart grow fonder and appreciate people so much more for who they are and what we have in our friendships!

Even though I am not letting myself "bake" in the sun like my hear so desires and has every other summer in the past, I am still trying to enjoy every bit of this beautiful season! I don't want it to slip away! However, I would not complain if we jumped right to Dec. 18th :)

Ill keep updating on the upcoming pregnancy journeys and baby! Until then, I think its time this tired girl starts making her way to bed :)

-Christina Joy

Waiting for this month to be over...

As nice as may is (or is supposed to be) weather wise, with promises of warm weather and outdoor activities... I would be just fine if we went ahead and skipped right to June! Sound like a plan? I know I should probably not waste the remaining 28 days away as each day is indeed a gift...but... I think I just might break the rules and keep wishing!
Here are just a few reasons why:

1. I can get out of this rut that they call a job and finally get back into the fast paced hospital! I didn't realize how much I miss having co-workers... Until I had NONE! I am excited to return to the floor at St. Johns hospital that I left a little over a year ago! I love the people that work there and the hospital system is quality!

2. My body will hopefully give me a break and not be sick so much!!! Maybe the warmer weather will help?!! who knows?

3. It's my husbands birthday the June 3rd. I love birthdays. A lot. I think I may even love his birthday more than he does! Either way, he gets to be treated like a king all day!

4. June 6th is our two year anniversary! Sometimes it feels like 20 years, but I wouldn't have it any other way!! I'm so thankful for the man I was blessed to share my life with, especially at such a young age!

Is it June yet???

Christina

"Heaven is for real..."

I love reading...alot.
I never used to. However, in the last several years I have found reading to be a great stress reliever/ relaxing activity.
I usually have a few books lined up or on the waiting list at the library. Once one is done, it is on to the next one! 99.9% of the time, they are dramatic fiction novels or an occasional memoir.
However, this week I read one of the most moving books I have ever encountered...and it was NON-fiction!
If you haven't heard of the book called Heaven Is For Real, you should check it out AND read it. It is amazing. Most (if not all) of us have lost someone we love, and this book spoke to my pain in that area as well as many other aspects of my life.
I cannot put into words how amazing it was. It changed me. It helped heal me. It reminded me to have a childlike faith.

http://heavenisforreal.net/